Taxi drivers – is there anything they don’t know?

Traveling to Master’s house for my lesson yesterday, I had that not-so-rare misfortune to have one of those chatty taxi drivers who won’t hesitate to pontificate on all and any subject, regardless of whether the passenger cares or not (I did not).

After an opening tirade about how the guitar should be in the trunk of the car rather than in the passenger seat (I tried to explain that the guitar was probably worth twice as much as he earned in a month without success) he then began wittering on about what he knew about guitar playing, of which he was 100% convinced (despite not being a musician himself) and which amounted to this distilled gem of mobile wisdom:

Guitarists, in order to be good, need woman hands.

Yep. According to my cabbie, any guitarist who has ever been famous, even if they were fat of body and face, always had long slender hands and fingers like those of a woman. “Look at Eric Clapton!” He exclaimed in his broken English (for those of you viewing outside Singapore, we call this ‘Singlish’ and yes, unfortunately a lot of people do talk this way), as I stared disinterestedly out of the window. “very fat fat! but you see his hands lah? He has woman’s hands. Jimi Hendrix too – you see his face? Fat, but long, long fingers like a woman. That is how to be good guitarist – must have woman hands. Got fat hands cannot play – no good – no matter how much you practice you will never be great unless got woman hands.”

So: there you have it. Look long and hard at your own fingers and search your heart – can you really be successful with those short fat sausage fingers? Give up now.

Now to search Google Image search for some pictures of Fat Clapton and Fat Hendrix – I’m sure I saw them somewhere…


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