If Homer Simpson designed a guitar

Did you ever see that Simpsons episode where Homer meets his long-lost brother who happens to now be a rich industrialist with a successful car manufacturing empire? Homer is then invited to design a car which includes all the things he thinks an average American would want. It ends up looking like this:


From the Simpsons wiki (which I also stole this picture from) it includes all these useless accoutrements:

  • The Homer has two bubble domes; one in the front, while the one in the back is for quarreling kids, and comes with optional restraints and muzzles.
  • According to Homer, the engine sound causes people to think "the world’s coming to an end."
  • There are three horns, as Homer claims that "you can never find a horn when you’re mad." The three horns play the song "La Cucaracha."
  • The car also features gigantic cupholders, which actually became a feature on many cars in the 1990s onward.
  • The car has various outdated features such as bubble domes, shag carpeting, and tailfins. It also has a metal bowler as a hood ornament.

Of course, nobody wants such a car and the costs to develop and produce it end up ruining the company which then folds.

Which leads me to this: what if Homer designed a guitar? What would a guitar designed by somebody with no aesthetic sensibilities look like? And if Homer said to himself ‘what if I could pack absolutely every little gadget and gizmo I could think of into the guitar’? 

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Gibson Firebird X:

Engineer: “but Homer, this thing will suck and cost $5000 with all the crap you want to put in it.”

Homer: “Build it anyway.”

Engineer: “remember the Robot? The Dusk Tiger? The Zoot Suit? The Authentic Hendrix ‘Strat’? They made us the laughing stock of the guitar universe. This has all the hallmarks of following in the same suit.”

Homer: “Build it anyway.”


6 Responses to “If Homer Simpson designed a guitar”

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